IV. Beef - Literal and Figurative

I am a little concerned, people.

(Look at me using the word "people" when the only people who read this are my sister and the Tripod staff! Delusions of grandeur, I has them.)

I just got back from dinner at the Bistro. (And by "back," I mean... I'm tutoring at the Writing Center. But I practically live in the English Department, anyway, so it is sort of like being home. In a sad, "I'm so overworked; help me, Rhonda" kind of way.) They have those nifty little dinner options where Trevor will cook something awesome for you and it costs anywhere from $7-12, which is practically highway robbery given the exorbitant prices Chartwells charges (but that's a post for another day, sadly). Last night was penne alfredo with chicken & broccoli (which is pretty much my favorite meal ever). Tonight was steak, tiny potatoes (because I'm pretty sure to be a "fingerling" potato, you kind of have to look like a finger, not a crippled grape), and grilled asparagus (which had some kind of sickeningly sweet marinade, was cold and therefore unappetizing, and I am pretty sure I saw Trevor pour coffee on it, which I found disturbing, to say the least.  Unless it was balsamic vinegar, in which case... gross, I hate balsamic vinegar).

I asked for my steak medium rare, because I prefer my food to pretty much walk onto my plate, but I don't usually trust anyone who is not a restaurant chef to get that right. So I usually order it a bit more done if I'm at some sort of casual event. I am thinking I should have requested medium, though, or even medium well, because I tried to cut into this thing and it was very, very rare (read: pretty much still raw) on one side.

The sad part is that I was so hungry I ate that bit anyway.

I probably wouldn't have had so much time to think about it if I had a knife that could actually, you know, cut through stuff. Plastic knife + steak = it's not going to happen. (I actually snapped one of the tines off of my fork because the steak was so hard to hold down and cut. I am a little scared that I swallowed it and I am going to get a perforated bowel and die.)

(I think I need to up my dosage.)

Anyway, I don't know what would be so terrible about actually providing cutlery that... cuts. This is Trinity, Chartwells, not juvy. My mom's best friend used to teach cosmetology at Tryon School for Girls in Johnstown, N.Y. (AP STYLE WHAT WHAT!) and the girls were never allowed to have actual scissors or anything remotely pointy because they might go crazy and start stabbing each other or my mom's friend. But I don't see why we can't have actual steak knives just for the act of... cutting steak.

... This is kind of a stupid post. I'm gonna blame Aley Pickens for that.

III. A Letter to Trinity College

Dear Trinity College,

I would like to lodge a complaint with you on behalf of the entire student body.

For college students, the Internet is invariably the most useful tool given to us to aid our education. It's how we receive the copious amounts of e-mail various departments of the College (I'm looking at you, Career Services) send out on a daily basis. It's how we register for classes. It's how we buy our wristbands for Spring Weekend (and, on the flip side of that, it's how we pay the judicial fines incurred on Spring Weekend). Professors post their syllabi and assignments on Blackboard, and often expect us to submit assignments or posts that way. (The Internet is also the biggest help in honing our procrastination skills, but that's a story for another day...)

What I'm trying to say is that college students need the Internet. So I'm curious as to why TrinAir, the main wireless internet connection on campus, insists on, you know... not working half the time. It's either impossible to connect in the first place, or the signal disappears in the middle of browsing, forcing me to fight with/frantically turn on/off AirPort until the Internet starts working again. This is really, really unhelpful when I am trying to post on Blackboard for Professor Kuyk's class (in which I am dismally falling behind, to the point where I almost want to punch myself in the face) and the Internet craps out and eats my post. Don't tell me that I should write my posts in Microsoft Word and copypasta to Blackboard; the point is that the frequency of these Internet blackouts is troubling and I am not the only person who feels that way (judging by an informal poll of the Tripod staff, and by poll I mean Aley Pickens was swearing at her computer for, like, half an hour because she couldn't connect to the Internet).

What makes this even more grating is that a lot of people (excluding myself; I ♥ you, Long Walk Scholars Society!) pay a metric buttload (and yes, that is a technical term, thank you very much) of money to go here; the least you could do, Trinity, is make sure to provide fully-functioning, basic amenities like indoor plumbing (the problems with which are worth another post, frankly) and wireless Internet.

Also, while you're fixing the terrible wireless service, maybe you could also go ahead and increase the upload/download bit rate. It is so annoying to buy stuff on iTunes or try to send e-mails with pictures attached and have to sit there and wait 40 minutes for the damn thing to upload/download/send. I realize it's meant to be a preventative measure to dissuade students from downloading through peer-to-peer networks (Jesus H. Tapdancing Christ, you'd think we were selling crack online instead of downloading music), but it's so annoying. And you can't get around it even if you bring your own router, because everything connects to TrinAir.

Basically, you guys are a bunch of cheap bastards and I hate you.

No Love,

Elizabeth Agresta VI, Ph.D., CBE, D.D.M.

P.S. Now "Internet" doesn't even look like a word anymore.